Why I stay off Social Media...

Ryan George pretty much encapsulates Social Media & what is does to us in the most hilarious way.

In a nutshell, this is why I don't go on there anymore:

Anybody else recognise themselves here? It made me laugh but also makes some clever and valid points about how many people aren't able to cope with their everyday lives which is very sad.

There are too many people who aren't comfortable with their own company or who can't deal with silence and have to constantly distract themselves with music, video, having the TV on in the background so they aren't left alone with their thoughts.

That's one of the reasons that putting somebody into solitary confinement is such a harsh punishment - you are putting somebody in a box, all alone with their thoughts. That's very painful if you thoughts are very painful. It's unbearable for some. 

A very important life skill is to learn to be ok with your own company and with your own thoughts, but if your thoughts are constantly beating you up and making you feel bad, anxious or unhappy than that's a good sign that you have some work to do.

The addictive dopamine hit of getting likes & shares on social media is very easy to become dependent on, and like all addictions, it's just hiding a deeper, darker pain.

For those of us with trauma and unresolved wounding, it can be very easy to get addicted to this sort of perceived validation, especially if we never received it as a child. It's what our heart is crying out for - to be seen, to be validated and to be loved. 

It does make me sad when people judge others for posting lots of selfies on social media or trying to get likes & comments. Calling these people vain or narcissistic isn't helpful, and although some of them may just be very self involved, there are many others, and in my opinion the majority, who are simply lacking in genuine self worth and are essentially asking or perhaps begging other people to help them feel seen, validated and worthy.

Couple that with a manipulative algorithm which does its best to keep you on the site for as long as possible using tricks like constant notifications, an endless scroll with no end and which never lets you leave, even if you click on an external link, and you have a recipe for addiction. It doesn't feel like an addiction, but they never do - any addict will tell you a hundred reasons as to why they aren't actually addicted to their drug or drink of choice. We justify, rationalise and minimise the harmful effects so that we can continue to get our "hit."

Social media is the new addiction, the new smoking in a way - it's fashionable, makes you feel liked and popular and long term harms your health. 

When are you going to quit?